Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Tuesday Chuckles

I saw this one in the Freelance Star yesterday and mused, "Would this have been the alternate ending to the fairytale had it been set in Stafford County (aka Suburbia Majora)?"

We moved down here from Washington County Maryland in 1994. Shortly after our arrival, I would hear this mantra repeated often: Don't get in trouble in Stafford. Initially it seemed to be sour grapes from someone who crossed the line and was called to the bench to answer for their "misdemeanourin" (to quote Governor Menelaus "Pappy" O'Daniel). It soon became clear that far too many people were making the claim for it to be mere simpering.

One only needs to read the Freelance Star a week or so to realize that the phrase "held without bond" appears in nearly every story concerning some neer' do well who ran afoul of the Stafford County Mounties. Dovetail this fact that the County is saddled with a Commonwealth Attorney who has made it his personal crusade to turn as many citizens into felons as the calendar will bear. This is the same one who's office charged an 8 and 10 year-old as felons for the Mansonesque crime of chucking snowballs at a moving car (something that could be remedied by a simple trip to the woodshed).

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